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How To Send An Email That Sucks

Ugh.

It's really not that hard.

But maybe it is.

Then again, since everyone is so bad at it, it should be easy to win by being just 1% better.

What is "it"? 

Sending emails that 

don't suck. 

Why oh why do people still do this?

Why can't people send a humanized message that addresses my concerns, is centered on my needs, has a clear call to action, and solves my pains quickly and affordably?

Below is an email I received today.

It was so average and ordinary and typical that I was compelled to take a moment to review it and break it down for you so you won't make the same mistake.

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