129 Ways To Get a Husband...and Make Every Sale

Apr 05, 2022

Wes Schaeffer

Small Business Marketing Entrepreneur

Before there were 50 ways to leave your lover and the 7 Deadly Sins of Selling, there were 129 ways to get a husband.

Let's dive deeper into this article from the January 1958 issue of McCall's Magazine and see how they apply today to you to help you make every sale.

WHERE TO FIND HIM

Get a dog and walk it.
- Dog owners live longer.
- You can meet neighbors and members of the community in a relaxed setting, which can lead to referrals and introductions to key people like this.
- There are at least seven benefits of owning a dog according to Live Science including helping you get in shape. When you are physically fit you are more confident on the phone and in person. You have more energy to grind and hustle when needed, which means you can outwork your competition.

- Let's face it, we can all use a little less screen time and a little more fresh air. It helps you put things back into perspective. (Hint: Not everything on Instagram is real!)
Have your car break down at strategic places.
- When Kenneth Cole launched his shoe company he didn't have the money to buy exhibit space at Market Week so he got creative and was able to park a large motor home filled with displays of his shoes and conducted tours out front of the hotel for a fraction of the cost.
Attend night school – take courses men like.
- Investing in yourself is always a good idea. Around 2003 I took a course on negotiation and I was the only salesperson in the course. Everyone else was a buyer/purchasing agent. I got to see things from their perspective and it changed how I sold. Literally the next week I held the line on the sale of a $50,000 piece of test equipment, which more than paid for the course.
- Listen to my interview with Eldonna Lewis, "The Negotiator"
- Contact me about my 90-day Private Coaching
Join a hiking club.
- When you feel better you think better, act better, and make every sale "mo' better."
- See #1 above about the benefits of getting outside and exercising.
- It's why I started Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in January 2017. (Hint: Don't break their arms until AFTER they say no. Prospects can't sign on the line with broken arms.)
Look in the census reports for places with the most single men. Nevada has 125 males for every 100 females.
- In other words, go to a target-rich environment like "Maverick" (a.k.a. Tom Cruise) does in the bar scene in Top Gun.
- Now you also have Facebook Custom and Lookalike Audiences, the SRDS, industry-specific trade shows, and more.
Read the obituaries to find eligible widowers.
- While this is a bit on the macabre side of things, you can buy expired domain names of sloppy competitors, buy the phone numbers of competitors that go out of business, and/or buy their customer and prospect list.
- Look up the story of The Donald Trump campaign buying JebBush.com and forwarding it to his landing page.
Take up golf and go to different golf courses.
- Although times they are a-changin', you can still get business and deepen relationships with prospects and customers on the golf course and/or any other physical activity that the prospect either enjoys or in which they have an interest. Maybe it's hunting or fishing or the theater. Find out what they enjoy doing when they're not at work and see if you can arrange to do that together.
- Be careful, though, because there are unscrupulous people out there who will cozy up to you just to be wined and dined so do your homework and ask some hard questions before you do.
Take several short vacations at different places rather than one long one at one place.

We all need more time off to unplug and unwind. But if you're following this advice to meet new prospects make sure you're going where they might be. If you sell to affluent buyers then vacation in Breckenridge, CO, or La Jolla, CA. If you sell to blue-collar buyers then vacation in the desert where people are camping and riding quads or go to NASCAR races and tailgate.

Sit on a park bench and feed the pigeons.

A) We could all use a little downtime.
B) We all need to get outside more.
C) Sit on a bench outside the offices of your top prospects and strike up conversations with those in the area. I guarantee you'll get info you can use to reach key decision-makers and make a sale. I'll drive behind buildings and strike up conversations with the smokers who are all out back shooting the breeze. I've been escorted in the back door right to the boss's office more times than I can count.

Take a bicycle trip through Europe.

I actually rode bikes with my son through London over Thanksgiving this year and arranged six separate meetings with friends and prospects while I was there. But taking photos and sharing them online has increased my interaction with other prospects both through social media and those on my email list because I'm seen as a more well-rounded person for traveling.

Get a job in medical, dental, or law school.

More than once after starting The Sales Whisperer® I went back to Corporate America to ensure I didn't put my family's safety and comfort at risk...and to make a lot of money because I was recruited back on my own terms. If you have to work a side job or even a main job as you grow your business, work in an area that compliments your longer-term plan. And go where the money is. Doctors and lawyers have more money—usually—and while they can be tough to reach, it's usually worth the effort.

Become a nurse or an airline stewardess – they have very high marriage rates.

I gotta be honest and tell ya I'm not quite sure how to spin this, although if your spouse works for an airline you can travel for free if you're cool with going standby. That could help you attend conferences and even reach top-tier prospects you might not be able to afford to reach otherwise. And having a nurse as a spouse means you probably won't have a co-pay and they'll bring home samples for you so you don't have to pay for medicine, which means you'll stay healthy and can sell more.

Ask your friends’ husbands who the eligible men are in their offices.

Birds of a feather do flock together. Always ask for referrals.

Be nice to everybody – they may have an eligible brother or son.

This is a no-brainer and is just how to be a decent human. It also applies to cold calling and interacting with the front desk. I got more info from receptionists and executive assistants and office managers by being polite and friendly than I can shake a stick at.

Get a government job overseas.

The Air Force made sure I did this more than once and while working for the government is not a sales job, knowing how the government works and how to navigate their red tape could lead to some huge orders in your sales career. Just tread carefully. Proposals could take years to complete and be awarded and you could go broke chasing that one big deal.

Volunteer for jury duty.

Okay, these are getting tougher as we go. I sat on court-martial in the Air Force and I was the foreman on one drug case here in SoCal.They were both interesting experiences that have helped me develop more understanding and appreciation for what we have here in America. Our court system can be confusing but after traveling the world as both an Air Force officer and civilian I can tell you our justice system does work better than almost any other country's in the world. So be thankful for what we have here and let the gratitude spill over into how you sell.

Be friendly to ugly men – handsome is as handsome does.

This is in line with #14 above. Be kind to everyone.

Tell your friends that you are interested in getting married. Don’t keep it a secret.

Tell your friends who your ideal referral is and how to refer you. Don't keep it a secret.

Get lost at football games.

Get lost at a client's or prospect's office. It's tougher now with security badges and scanners but once you're in and you excuse yourself to go to the restroom or the cafeteria or kitchen for some coffee...wander around a bit. Notice if they have their mission statement on the wall. Notice the demeanor and energy of the office. Notice the names of key staff. Look for whiteboards with goals on them or other metrics and see how they're doing. You can use all of this info to go wider and deeper into that account.

Don’t take a job in a company run largely by women.

Don't take a job run by someone who has never been in sales and/or looks down upon salespeople.

Get a job demonstrating fishing tackle in a sporting goods store.

If you sell bacon, don't go to a vegetarian conference. If you sell fur coats, don't go to a PETA conference. In other words, go to a target-rich environment. See #5 above.

On a plane, train, or bus, don’t sit next to a woman – sit next to a man.

It's tough to tell who has money today since it's in style to dress like a homeless person these days but if you have a choice as to where to sit when traveling, sit next to someone that might be a prospect. If you're a Cabi rep, sit next to the man or woman who is dressed nicely. (The man probably has a woman in his life for whom he has problems shopping. Get his card!) If you're selling IT services, sit next to the person with spreadsheets on their laptop and papers spread all around. And don't be afraid to strike up a conversation and change seats if you determine the person is rude or not a prospect.

Go to all reunions of your high school or college class. There may be widowers there.

This is kind of like #6 but it is good to catch up with old friends. You can get some good referrals here because these people will know your heart and they would be happy to refer you to their friends and associates if it makes sense.

Don’t be afraid to associate with more attractive girls; they may have some leftovers.

You should strive to be the dumbest person in the room. You are the average of the five people with whom you associate the most. So upgrade your friends.

Go back to your hometown for a visit – the wild kid next door may have become a very eligible bachelor while you were away.

While this might be good marriage advice, I think it can be tough in business because "no prophet is accepted in his own native place." While #23 is right in that you could meet some classmates who have made it and are in a position to refer business to you, don't expect it from everyone. In fact, that good referral will probably be the exception rather than the rule because of the crab mentality.

Don’t room with a girl who is a sad sack and let her pull you down to her level.

See #24 & #25. Misery loves company. Associate with optimistic realists like those here.

Get a part-time job in a convention bureau.

This is a bit extreme for finding a husband but knowing what is going on in your industry is critical to your sales success. Subscribe to the trade journals your ideal clients read. Attend the conferences they attend and consider having a booth there. Like #5, go to a target-rich environment.

Change apartments from time to time.

I'd rather eat nothing but broccoli for a month than move so I guess women were desperate for husbands 60 years ago. Insofar as making every sale is concerned, a change of scenery is indeed warranted. You need to be visible and go where the fish are biting. Ideal prospects ready, willing, and able to buy won't just show up at your office with a P.O.

When traveling, stay at small hotels where it is easier to meet strangers.

There's something to be said for mixing and mingling with the locals when you're on the road. You can get valuable insight from an honest local that you might not get from a paid Concierge at a fancy hotel and information is key to breaking open new accounts. So change up your routine from time to time. You'll be glad you did.

Learn to paint. Set up an easel outside the engineering school.

Ha. This is ridiculous but Kenneth Cole got a permit to set up a "press" trailer outside an expensive conference for next to nothing when he didn't have the money for a booth to show off his shoe line. So be outrageous in your marketing. (By the way, I've met the author and the publisher of that book and I have both editions of it. Do yourself a favor and get it, read it, and apply what he teaches.)

Stumble when you walk into a room that he’s in.

You must own the room when you are presenting and negotiating. Oren Klaff calls is framing. Robert Ringer called it "Winning Through Intimidation." A former Army officer I met during a hiring conference called it a "room-filling presence." You better know how to do this, and being funny is rarely the best way to do it.

Forget discretion every once in a while and call him up.

Yes! Have some guts every once in a while and pick up the phone and call your prospects. Conducting "research" on LinkedIn or Twitter or the social media flavor of the day is fine and dandy but sometimes you have to get things going. It helps if you have a script—a series of scripts—so you don't sound like a bumbling robot with one line of code on auto-loop.

Carry a hatbox.

Okay. I had to get some input from my mom on this who was not looking for a husband when she was nine but I was hoping to get a different viewpoint on this. She said "Probably because wearing hats was really a fashion statement for refined women. Carrying a hat box left something to the imagination." (See #34 about mystique.) "The contents of the box would be a mystery...It would be an additional hat and could also say she didn’t have a man to carry it for her." So create some mystique, let your prospects know you have good tastes, i.e. you're not a commodity/low-end provider, and that you have extra capacity to take on new clients.

Wear a Band-Aid. People always ask what happened.

There's an old ice-breaking trick I've learned that works rather well. When you're in an elevator or small group or even meeting someone privately ask "How's your back?" I've heard that upwards of 80% of people have had or are having back problems currently so the odds are in your favor that you've guessed correctly. The elevator occupant/prospect will look at you and say "Fine...how'd you know?" Nothing captures the attention of a prospect like mystique and curiosity!

Make a lot of money.

Success breeds success. While "fake it 'til you make it" has been passed around for ages, I recommend buckling down, doing without, and doing what needs to be done without faking it until you make it. But it's more important to keep a lot of money than it is to make it.

Learn several funny stories and learn to tell them well – but make sure you don’t tell them to him more than once.

Facts tell stories sell. Chemistry matters in all relationships, including business, so be likable. But being too cute and funny in sales is a great way to lose every sale. Use humor like dynamite. A little goes a long way.

Walk up to him and tell him you need some advice.

This can be a good opening line on the phone or in person. "Ms. Jones's office, this is Bruce." "Hey Bruce, I was hoping you could help me." Open with that and then deliver your opening line as if Bruce was the boss. I've also pressed the extension for Sales at a prospect's company and told the person straight up, "Hey, I'm a salesman like you and I'm having a heck of a time reaching the big dog. What would you do if you were me?" I've been given the cell phone of top people in big firms this way. Ask for help.

Dropping the handkerchief still works.

You need to be careful with this one. I naturally speak with a Southern drawl and have used the stereotype that goes with it to my success for decades. Appearing to be simple or modest or humble or non-assertive or needing assistance is fine, to a degree. It's playing the part of "Columbo," (which is one of the tactics I teach in my sales training flash cards for overcoming objections) but you can take it too far. Use a tactic like this to soften a tough prospect but understand the frame control of Oren Klaff I mentioned earlier and don't do anything to give up that control.

Have your father buy some theater tickets that have to be got rid of.

While I've never been a big fan of wining and dining, it does have its time and place and like they say, it's the thought that counts. If you suddenly have nice tickets presented to you—it happens when a friend has season tickets and can't make it or your company has some—reach out at the last minute to a tough prospect that you may not want to spend personal time with and invite them. Because it's last-minute they probably can't make it, but they'll appreciate the gesture and be more receptive to meeting with you later. And/or invite someone you do like and would like to get to know. Attending a nice event away from the office helps you both see one another as humans instead of just business associates.

Stand in the corner and cry softly. Chances are good that he’ll come over to find out what’s wrong.

Okay, this is another HA! All things being equal, show no emotion in sales. Being bubbly and cheerful like a 15-year old cheerleader at a pep rally is a turnoff as is being a sourpuss. Be Steady Eddie in all of your dealings and you'll come out ahead.

Don’t let him fish for your name the next time you meet. None of this “guess who” stuff.

Everyone is terrible with names so be memorable and let your prospects off the hook. I tell people "I'm Wes, like Wesley Snipes, but I pay my taxes so I don't go to jail." When you give people a hook or an anchor they are more likely to remember you. But I also don't assume they'll remember me—Assumption Malfunction is #4 of The Seven Deadly Sins of Selling—so when I run into them at an event I'll greet them with "Hey, Joe, Wes at The Sales Whisperer®, we spoke a couple of weeks ago about your CRM needs." "Of course, Wes, great to see you." (They always say "Of course," even though they couldn't recall my name. But that's fine. I want them to like me, not wasting energy wondering who I am.)

If you’re at a resort, have the bellboy page you.

Now, this could be interesting. Having your name broadcast across an event or fancy resort couldn't hurt, although with cell phones these days, it seems everyone knows how to reach everyone. But try it and let me know how it goes.

Buy a convertible. Men like to ride in them.

Success creates success. Years ago I met a high school buddy in Houston who had started a mortgage company and was quite successful. He drove a Porsche and I asked him if that was a good idea thinking prospects would think he must be charging too much to be able to afford such a nice car. He explained that prospects want to be around successful people. His nice car proves in their minds that he is a professional, which helps convince them to do business with him. Since then I've owned two BMWs, a Mercedes, a Porsche Cayenne, and I currently drive a Tesla with another one on order, and I'm always complimented on my car. But see #35 above before you get into too much debt.

Learn how to bake tasty apple pies. Bring one into the office and let the eligible bachelors taste it.

If you brought homemade baked goods to a prospect's office they might look at you weird...or they might fall in love with you. My mechanic is also a friend and he grows his own fruit and makes homemade jam and gives it to us. All we have to do is provide the jars. It makes him stand out. Feeding prospects is a great way to get some face time with them...but it's also a great way to waste time and money because some prospects will string you along just for your free meals. So make sure you have an agenda when you're spending your money on food.

Laugh at his jokes.

Making people feel good about themselves is always recommended and people love to hear themselves flap their gums. If your prospect considers herself a jokester go ahead and listen and smile. What's the harm in that?

If there’s a wallflower among the men you know, why not cultivate him? For all you know, he may be a diamond in the rough.

When you see someone sitting quietly in a meeting or at a networking event, gently engage them. They are quiet for a reason. Maybe they are angry at being forced to attend. Maybe they are just shy. If they are quiet during a meeting simply ask, "Joe, you've been quiet for a while. What are your thoughts on what we've covered so far?" If it's at a networking function simply approach them in a calm manner, offer your hand and your name, and ask "What was the best job you ever had?" or "When you're not partying at functions like this what do you like to do?" Ask them something different than normal but not too goofy. Get them talking and see how the conversation unfolds.

“Accidentally” have your purse fly open, scattering its contents all over the street.

This might work in dating, but not in business. If you look like a klutz to your prospects they'll think you're a klutz in all aspects of your life and they won't do business with you. Always remain in control of the situation, even when things are tense. That's why you need to practice your presentation, how you review your proposals, how you set appointments, and how you begin your meetings. Amateurs practice until they get it right. Professionals practice until they can't get it wrong. HOW TO LOOK GOOD TO HIM

Men like to think they’re authorities on perfume. Ask his advice on what kind you should wear.

We all like to give our opinions and be seen as an expert in something so ask your prospects engaging questions like "How has your industry changed in the last three years?" followed by "How do you see your industry changing in the next three years?" Get them talking. Let them pontificate and feel good about themselves. Because you're the one that initiated that conversation they'll associate you with those good feelings, which will help you close the sale.

Get better-looking glasses—men still make passes at girls who wear glasses—or try contact lenses.

Always look put together. While "grunge" is in and there seems to be a race to the bottom when it comes to attire, it's still fine to be the best-dressed person in the room.

Practice your drinking with your women friends first.

Some prospects want to use you for your expense account. Back in 2006, I had one client buy glasses of Macallan Scotch at $65 PER GLASS! Yes, he ordered a lot from me, but come on! He was arrogant and selfish in doing that so be careful. And always keep in mind the purpose of the relationship and event. You're not calling on them to make a friend and you want to be respected in the morning, so go easy on the booze when you're out with clients and prospects.

If you dye your hair, pick a shade and stick to it.

This goes with #49 in that you want to look as though you care about your appearance and that you dress the part. Yeah, yeah, Elton John wears glitter and peacock feathers and Lady Gaga wears a meat dress but those outfits are appropriate for the occasion. Your appearance should not detract from your message.

Wear high heels most of the time—they’re sexier!

This goes with #49 and #51 insofar as you want to look the part. While sex appeal can have an advantage for a woman in sales, it can be taken too far and detract from your message. For the men reading this, I always tell my clients to wear nice shoes, a nice belt, shave, trim their hair, and have clean nails. It's the details that matter.

Unless he happens to be shorter than you are!

"Napoleon complex" is real. Some "vertically-challenged" people hold a grudge as adults based on being picked last for basketball games during recess in 4th grade. It happens. But people have complexes and hangups about all sorts of things. It's our job as salespeople to read our prospects. To probe. To ask hard questions. To jab with a smile. To find the pain because that's the lever that'll move the sale forward.

Tell him he’s handsome.

So many people are looking for excuses to be offended so be careful here. However, paying someone a sincere compliment is the best way to break the ice at a networking function and when meeting someone for the first time.

Take good care of your health. Men don’t like girls who are ill.

This can fall under the appearance category but being physically fit will help you do everything in life better. Find a cause that'll force you to train harder than you normally would. Since 2014 I've trained for the Tampa Bay Frogman Swim. Since 2017 I've also been training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Get up and get active. You'll sell more.

If you look good in sweaters, wear one on every third date.

Wow, this is specific. I wear the same white shirts, dark suits, and black shoes for years. Ladies, while other women might take note of you wearing the same thing "too often," it's rare that men will. So just dress the part and make sure your attire does not detract from your message.

Dress differently from the other girls in the office.

While you can get away with dressing like a slob at the office if the boss approves and prospects don't come to the office, you need to look good when you meet prospects and clients, which could happen at any time like the line at Starbuck's or at lunch, so all things being equal, dress up rather than down.

Get a sunburn.

Good grief. If I see you with a sunburn I think you're an idiot who is careless, lazy, and/or just plain ignorant so don't do this to get a husband or to make every sale.

Watch your vocabulary.

Words mean things. When I hear someone say "Like, aahhh, wait, what?" or "Alls you gotta do" or "Just axe him a question" you have taken two to 22 steps back and you may not recover. Now I ain't sayin' you can't use the lingo that's common 'round these here parts, but know where you are and what's expected and acceptable for the selling situation. People buy from people they know, like, and trust, so be more of a chameleon than a white elephant. This also applies to talking over and/or down to your prospects with jargon and industry acronyms. Just because your prospect doesn't know as much as you do about the topic at hand does not make them a moron. It makes them an ideal prospect so treat them like they have your money in their wallets and the only way you can get it is to help them find the answers to their questions.

Go on a diet if you need to.

See #55. When you're physically fit everything you do gets easier. But dieting all the time is no fun. Change your lifestyle so eating and living well become part of your life rather than a sacrifice or punishment.

When you are with him, order your steak rare.

I guess this was meant to show the woman was "tough." That doesn't apply today or in sales. Order whatever the heck you want but when I'm traveling I eat almost no red meat. A) I prefer seafood and B) I sleep better when I'm on the road if I don't have the "meat sweats." That being said, if your prospect is a foodie experiment with eating what they eat. Quite often I'll tell my prospect to order for me if we are somewhere that really excites them. I have no food allergies and I am willing to try anything once and encourage you to expand your palate.

Don’t tell him about your allergies.

Maybe women were more stoic back in the day and that's fine. I wish more people were more stoic today. No one other than your mom and maybe your spouse wants to hear about your aches and pains, your bumps and bruises, how mean the barista was at Starbucks, or how the waiter brought you a vegetarian plate instead of a vegan plate. When you're on a sales call suck it up and deal with it, whatever it is.

European women use their eyes to good advantage. Practice in front of a mirror.

There's a lot to body language and the eyes are the windows to the soul. Learn to control your emotions and learn to read your prospects over the phone and in person. Maybe even learn to read their minds to make every sale.

Buy a full-length mirror and take a good look before you go to greet him.

In other words, wrap your package, because we do judge books by their covers and we judge one another in the blink of an eye. See #56 & #57.

Change the shade of your stockings and be sure to keep the seams straight.

Continuing from #64, dress to impress with an attention to detail. At the United States Air Force Academy we were taught about our "gig lines." It's the line formed by your button-down shirt to your belt buckle to the zipper on your pants. They all had to be in alignment. It was just one of the many ways we showed that we were not slobs. You should check your gig line as well.

Get that fresh-scrubbed look by scrubbing!

I shower every Monday whether I need it or not. You should as well. Seriously, you need to know if your breath stinks, if you have dirt under your fingernails, if you have dandruff, if you have a coffee stain on your shirt (which you've worn three days in a row) and if your armpits are smelling like a teenage boys gym bag.

If he has bought you any trinket or accessory, wear it.

I've had clients send me gifts like coffee mugs, pens, notepads, hats, shirts, etc. I make it a point to take a picture of it and send it to them and/or share it on social media and tag them. Ditto if I'm using their products/services and/or if I just see some good news about them online. (Watching my gig line from #65 helped me be conscientious in areas like this. Did you check your gig line as I said?)

Use the ashtray; don’t crush out cigarettes in coffee cups!

And don't spit your chewing tobacco juice into the potted plants, eat off their plates during dinner, or wipe your nose on your shirtsleeve...among other things.

Polish up on making introductions; learn to do them gracefully.

Amen to this. Most people I meet say "I'm terrible with names." No, you're not. You just tell yourself you're not and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You're bad with names because you don't want to become good with names. It's a choice and it's hurting your sales. Someone's name is the sweetest sound in the world and you are depriving them of that joy when you forget their name—and you're hurting your chances of making the sale. Learn how to remember names so you can make a great first impression.

Don’t be too fussy.

This goes along with #62. Life's too short to go around miserable. Life is all about how you react to what happens so toughen up.

Stick to your moral standards.

Another amen. Too many salespeople give away the farm because they're desperate to make a sale. You don't have to do this if you master the #1 job of a sales professional. And don't let some shady, greedy, desperate sales manager or executive talk you into doing shady things so the company can look good to investors and the board. Say no then start looking for another job.

Don’t whine – girls who whine stay on the vine!

Just another way of saying what was covered in #70 and #62.

Show him you can have fun on a cheap date – but don’t overdo it!

Being frugal in the courtship of your prospects shows you're not over-charging them, which they should appreciate, but that doesn't mean lunch at Burger King. Find the happy medium between the Scotch drinking knuckle-dragger in #50 and stealing Linda's tuna fish sandwich in the company kitchen and you'll be fine.

Don’t let your parents treat him like a potential husband.

This would scare off a date and if the executives in your company start swooning over a key prospect too soon it will scare off business as well. You must develop a professional level of detachment to win in sales, business, golf, or any other meaningful venture in life.

Ask your parents to disappear when you’re entertaining!

If your bosses and/or peers are meatheads tell them to scram—nicely of course. You don't need someone putting their cigarettes out in their coffee cups when you're trying to make a great impression on your key prospect. (See #68 and #66.)

Double-date with a gay, happily married couple – let him see what it’s like!

No need to discuss gay or straight, married or single with your prospects, but do get and provide glowing testimonials so they know they are in good company.

Tell his friends nice things about him.

You shouldn't be bad-mouthing past customers or prospects to current customers or prospects. The smart ones will realize that soon you'll be talking about them like that and they'll either avoid doing business with you or drive a harder bargain to prove a point and put you in your place.

Send his mother a birthday card.

This would be creepy in business but you can send a nice email and/or card to your prospect's superiors letting them know how things are going, what a pleasure it is to work with your prospect and to compliment him/her.

Ask his mother for her recipes.

This is creepy like #78 but you can ask the prospect for their input on things they've seen on the market that they like and don't like so you know how to shape your offer.

Talk to his father about business and agree that taxes are too high!

This whole family thing is weird in business but if you're talking to your prospect and/or her superiors it's good to not disagree about general business or political topics but if you do agree with them I think it's fine to say so.

Buy his sister’s children an occasional present.

As I said in the previous few items, creeping on someone's family is pretty much off-limits in business but if you hear that a family member of a client or prospect is a big fan of a celebrity or a collector of something like stamps and you have an opportunity to get an autograph or that collectible it will make a big impression to share that with your client. Keep in mind, though, that this needs to be a reasonable gift, i.e. you ran across a $5 or $10 stamp, not a $500 or $5,000 stamp! They might think you are trying to buy their business by going through their family, so use good judgment.

On the first date, tell him you aren’t thinking of getting married!

We want what we can't have. Playing hard to get works in sales as well as in dating but there is an art to it. When you follow The Sales Agenda you'll be off to a good start. In essence, you want the prospect to know you are not desperate, needy, or hungry. The purpose of the meeting is not to make a sale but to see if there is chemistry, a fit, a need you can solve, which requires them to be open and honest as you ask a few questions. If they're not willing to engage in dialogue then you're nothing more than a quote monkey. Good luck with that.

Don’t talk about how many children you want.

Don't talk about your quota or sales goals or prizes and trips that you've won or the kind of car you drive or anything else that may seem braggadocious. Subtle elegance is fine. Confidence is a must. But make your prospect's needs the focus and you'll win a lot more trips.

If he’s a fisherman, learn to scale and clean fish.

Having things in common with your prospects helps them get to know, like, and trust you but not if it's forced. With platforms like LinkedIn, you find out a lot about someone in just a few minutes. Learn how to drop in a little nugget "in passing" during your conversations and correspondence and see how quickly they warm up to you.

Don’t tell him everything about yourself at the start. Hold something in reserve.

The new ABCs of selling includes "Always Be Concise." Don't drone on and on about anything. Broach a subject and see if they bite. If they do, go deeper. If they don't, go on to the next subject. What's important to you does not matter. What's important to your prospect is all that matters.

When you’re out strolling with him, don’t insist on stopping at every shop window.

When your marketing department gives you a 24-page full color brochure and 87-slide deck complete with transitions and music you're allowed to stop on slide #3—and not even give them the brochure—if your prospect is ready to order. Leave a little in reserve. Keep that ace up your sleeve in case you need it later.

Don’t tell him how much your clothes cost.

See #83. If your prospect is into clothes or purses or shoes or watches or shotguns or whatever, they'll know how much your stuff costs and if you have similar tastes you'll connect but don't flaunt it.

Learn to sew and wear something you have made yourself.

Learn your product and be a product of your product. If you sell Fords, drive a ford. If you sell fiber optic test equipment—like I did for many years—set the equipment up in your home and really learn it. Sure you have SEs that can travel with you or conduct remote demos and that's all well and good, but when you know your stuff you'll set yourself apart from the competition.

Don’t gossip about him.

Don't gossip about anyone ever.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." Eleanor Roosevelt

Never let him know he’s the only one, even if you have to stay at home one or two nights a week!

This goes with #85 to a degree. Build some mystique. Be more like The Shed at Dulwich.

Don’t be a pushover when he’s trying to make a date.

See #90 and #85. Years ago I learned I don't have to answer the phone on the first ring and I don't have to answer it 24/7. I learned that a prospect's poor planning does not constitute an emergency on my part. (But if you can help someone in need without interfering with your daughter's wedding, your anniversary plans, or missing your kid's school play, do it.) Old school sales trainers tell you to not accept the first date and time they offer to meet. That's one way. You can also have a scheduling link to your calendar and adjust the settings so that they can't book you with less than a one or two-day warning, you only show 2-3 openings per day, and they can only book you a few weeks out.

Very early in your dating, why not get a favorite song that you both regard as your own?

If you pay attention to your prospect carefully you'll pick up on an inside joke with her department, an innuendo, a pet peeve of theirs that you can reference later. If done correctly you'll be "part of the club" and will be a deeper bond faster to help you close the sale.

Find out about the girls he hasn’t married. Don’t repeat the mistakes they made.

Find out about the competitors they have used in the past, are currently using, and/or have considered and decided against. Ask them why they switched from Brand A to Brand B. Ask them why they are considering moving from Band B to you. Ask them why they passed on Brands X, Y, and Z. Knowing why they said no may be more important than knowing why they said yes. Have the guts to dig deep and get to the truth.

Don’t discuss your former boyfriends.

Amen. Don't badmouth past clients, even if they did you wrong, and don't share info on current clients unless you have written and/or video testimonials and/or case studies from them. Keep your focus on the needs of your prospects.

If you are widowed or divorced, don’t constantly discuss your former husband.

See #94.

Be flexible. If he decides to skip the dance and go rowing on the lake, go – even if you are wearing your best evening gown.

Being flexible is fine to a degree but if your prospects are bouncing all over the place you need to be the calming adult in the room and get them to follow your agenda. It's not uncommon for entrepreneurs and hard-chargers to get bored easily and hop around from idea to idea. A mediocre idea fully-implemented beats 100 great ideas merely discussed.

Hide your Phi Beta Kappa key if you own one – later on, junior can play with it.

It's good to be smart. Heck, you're reading this post and made it this far so welcome to the Smart Salespeople Club. But you can come across as smug and condescending if you're not careful. A lot of salespeople try to get their own need for validation filled by pontificating to(wards) their prospects. Learn to ask more questions. Find needs and fill them. Strive to be interested instead of interesting and you'll make more sales.

Turn wolves into husband material by assuming they have honor.

There's a little reverse psychology here and it might work. I do try to give my prospects the benefit of the doubt because I know a lot of people are under extreme pressure with little to no joy in their lives. However, we are not whipping posts for our clients and prospects. They need our solutions more than we need their money. And tough prospects need direction, guidance, and clarity, which means you need to have a backbone and set an agenda for each meeting with clear expectations from all parties. When you assume it makes an ass out of U and me.

Resist the urge to make him over – before marriage, that is!

Wow. This is a doozie. In business, if you let your prospects walk all over you from day one and set the precedent that they can call you, email you, text you, track you down on social media, and get an immediate response day or night, weekday or weekend, even holidays then you'll have a tough time breaking them of that habit. Set boundaries and ask the hard questions going into the relationship. Deciding not to do business early with someone who is a psychopath, jerk, or both is a win.

Learn where to draw the line – but do it gracefully.

See #99. You can't unring a bell. Set the tone for how the business relationship will work from the beginning or you'll be negotiating from a position of weakness.

Remain innocent but not ignorant.

Looks like McCall's was reading a little Matthew back in the day: "Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves."
If they were around today they might've quoted General James Mattis, "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet."

Make your home comfortable when he calls – large ashtrays, comfortable chairs.

Having grown up with parents and grandparents who smoked in the house, in the car, on the airplane, etc. I'm glad those days are gone. But I do enjoy a good cigar with good friends and getting to know your prospects—and giving them the opportunity to get to know you—in a more personal setting is always a good thing.

Learn to play poker.

Poker, chess, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu all help you learn strategy, patience, endurance, creativity, when to pace yourself, when to go all-in, and when to keep that ace in the hole, all of which will help you make every sale.

If he’s rich, tell him you like his money – the honesty will intrigue him!

Honesty is the best policy, even in sales.

Never let him believe your career is more important to you than marriage.

Never let your prospects believe your commission, your ego, or your success is more important than theirs. Zig Ziglar was right when he said you can get anything you want if you just help enough people get what they want.

Buy him an amusing or particularly appropriate present every once in a while. But don’t make it too expensive.

Send your prospects a hand-written note. Print out a story that applies to them and mail it to them. I had a manager—yes, you should manage your manager as much as you manage your prospects and customers—who was into Harley-Davidson. He not only had a motorcycle but he had a Harley-Davidson branded Ford truck. When I was in Hawaii on business I got him a Harley-Davidson t-shirt and sent it to him. We're still friends to this day.

Clip and mail him some funny cartoon that means something to both of you.

See #106. And yes, snail mail is still alive and well today, maybe even more so than in 1958. You need to Zig when your competition Zags.

Don’t tell dirty stories.

After growing up in the South, playing football in college, spending nine years in the military, and over 22 years in sales, I've heard a few dirty stories. I just don't tell them in a business setting. There is a time and a place for everything. Know what motivates your prospects and adjust how to sell to be in line with how they buy.

Stop being a mama’s girl – don’t let him think he’ll have in-law trouble, even if you know he will!

This seems more than a little deceiving but we all have in-laws and out-laws in our personal/private lives. But in business, I like to over-accentuate the negatives when it comes to doing business with me. When my prospect sees that what I consider a big negative is actually a minor negative they relax about the other aspects of the sale, which helps us both.

Point out to him that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men.

Dang! (But how many married men wish they were dead? Doh! I'll go sit in the corner in timeout. And please don't show my wife this one.)WILD IDEAS—ANYTHING GOES

Go to Yale.

Having a pedigree still impresses some prospects and having a well-connected circle of friends never hurts. But don't go to an expensive school just because you think it's needed to get a job. Mega companies like Google, Apple, Starbucks, Costco, and Whole Foods no longer require a college degree and more are following suit.

Get a hunting license.

Knowing how to provide for yourself is always a good thing and showing you are well-rounded and have a hobby outside of work is a good thing as well. If you have a sincere interest in the same hobby as your prospect then bring it up at the appropriate time and you'll make more sales.

If your mother is fat, tell him you take after your father. If he’s fat too, tell him you’re adopted!

OMG! Way too many salespeople will say whatever it takes to make the sale. You need to focus on the fourth sale including referrals and testimonials and conduct yourself in such a manner that all of those come naturally and easily.

Stow away on a battleship.

Or on a B-52. (Everyone knows the Air Force has better coffee, nicer golf courses, and air conditioning in our housing!) Facts tell and stories sell and having a story about stowing away on a ship or plane or something similar will come in handy more times than not. So live a little.

Rent a billboard and post your picture and telephone number on it.

Is that nicer than writing "For a good time call The Sales Whisperer®" on a bathroom wall? But it is true that out of sight = out of mind. If you were arrested for being in sales would there be enough evidence to convict you? Be everywhere.

Paint your name and number on the roof and say, “Give me a buzz, pilots.”

Wow. See #115. But having a niche and/or your Dream 100 target list is key to making every sale.

Start a whispering campaign on how sought-after you are.

The Sales Whisperer® approves of all whispering campaigns. See #116 and #115.

Sink at a fashionable beach at high noon!

Maybe being rescued helps you get a husband but I let prospects crash and burn on a daily basis (and regularly use their poor efforts as training and posting fodder). You're showing up to help solve problems for your prospects, not create one, so show up competent and ready to make their lives better.

Ride the airport bus back and forth from the airport.

Be ready, willing, and able to strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. I met a great prospect on the rental car shuttle bus that paid off handsomely. So dress the part and keep your eyes and ears open..

Bribe the Ferris-wheel operator to get you stuck on the top of a Ferris wheel.

See #118. On the flip side, I have "Press 1 for sales" and told the person who answers that I need a favor and asked how to get through to the decision-maker and have been rewarded with cell phone numbers, personal email addresses, schedules, and more.

Stand on a busy street corner with a lasso.

Or wear a tuxedo and white gloves at trade shows like The CRM Butler.

Carry a camera and ask strange, handsome men if they would mind snapping your picture.

This is easy and common today with smartphones and selfie sticks. If you are entertaining, informative, and helpful with your prospects and customers they should be happy to give you a video testimonial and take a picture with you.

Ask your mother to take in male boarders.

Maybe this is like an attorney doing pro bono work or you having a deeply-discounted offering for non-profits. Just never appear desperate and internalize the tough but real adage that "you can't save every puppy in the pound."

Make and sell toupees – bald men are easy catches!

Bald is in today, which shows that trends and fads and styles change but human insecurities do not. Dig in and find out what is keeping your prospects awake at night. If you can get them to acknowledge their issues and put a dollar value on the impact, you will make that sale.

Advertise for male co-owner of a boat.

I don't want to own a boat but I do like having friends who own boats. If you have a radical new solution to an age-old problem you need to find the "bleeding-edge" early adopters to take a leap of faith with you and proudly state that they own your solution. Having real-world customers at your side will help your launch gain momentum.

If you see a man with a flat, offer to fix it.

This is potentially dangerous advice for men and women today but if you see someone in need and you can safely help them you should. I was kind of safe when I went to help out my adopted hometown of Houston during Hurricane Harvey.

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Carry a tow chain in the trunk of your automobile.

Follow the advice of the Boy Scouts and "Always be prepared." In business that means carrying remote controls for your presentation, spare batteries including charging sticks for your devices, adapters for projectors, business cards, pens, thank you cards, etc.

Let it be known in your office that you have a button box and will sew on bachelors’ loose buttons.

It's tough to balance being supportive of your prospects without giving away free consulting. However, if they have a favorite charity or cause they support it's fine to sincerely support their efforts to help them see you in a different light.