What My Mother Taught Me
- My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
- My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
- My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
- My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
- My mother taught me about CONTORTIONS.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
- My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
- My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
- My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
- My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
- My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
- My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
- My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
I love you, Mom!
Market like you mean it.
Now go sell something.